1. |
Mess/Milly
03:20
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I hope I make it to twenty
But who knows
Cus' lately I've been running
And this all simply goes to show I'm broken
I just hope I make it to twenty
Mom and dad don't love each other
They fight every day
I don't want to end up like my mother
Never anything positive to say
And I just hope I make it to twenty
I'll leave this house
Go with my friends
We'll fall in love fall out again
Get tangled up
Cut all our ties
Hurt ourselves without even trying
We are the youth, we are confused
Selfish excuses that we make up
To ensure that we stick to
The terrible choices we all choose
We never meant for this
It all just happened
Rejected the white fence
To idolize existence
Broken machinery
100 miles an hour
Barely moving
We never meant for this
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2. |
Do Not Disturb
01:41
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I'm late to work again
My alarm hasn't gone off for two days straight and I'm trying
To be a model worker so I can get a raise
Its not working, but hey at least its the weekend
So I will go
And lay in my room
Its Friday night
But things aren't as fun as they used to be
Things aren't as fun as they used to be
And I think that I'd rather just sleep
I talked to the management
And they said that it was fine
Instead of five I could leave at 8 pm
Maybe by that time all my friends will have forgotten about me
And get on with their weekend with out me
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3. |
Far
03:52
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When we were kids, we would lie out on the rusted trampoline
The moonlight kissed our faces and in our eyes we would not change a thing
And we had dreams, before growing up became a sobering reality
Innocence slowly dying and with it all we thought that we would be
Our futures were in the stars, of this we were certain
We were meant to go far, we were meant for more than
The everyday existence, the way they say it limits us
They told us we could do anything, if we tried our best, and gave 100 percent
But what do you do when its hard to even give 50, and you wish you were
Miserably drunk so that you could forget
For at least a little while, that you're all alone and broke
And you've got to make rent
And as you stumble back home, you can't help but feel even more depressed
I saw you the other day, when you asked me for change by the door of the bar
I saw myself in your face, and gave you a twenty, turned around and walked back home in the dark
And for old times sake, I took a look through the old Polaroids at the hope that marked
Our faces, the old back yard and all the familiar places
And it gave me a spark, it made me want to go far
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4. |
Sober
02:37
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Hey man, lets stay outside, the weathers nice this time of year
We could have a bonfire or something, I could buy a cheap six pack of beer
And you could tell me
A few more stories
About you and your cousins
How you swore you wouldn't ever grow up
Until the day you finally sobered up
Oh wait I guess that story's mine
I'm sorry if I ruined your night
And I'm sorry, that my life is such a mess
When you called me, honestly that was the last thing I expected
I'll get cleaned up, I'll get my act together
I'll be less depressed next weekend
Well thank god for cheap beer and long nights and the results of my drinking
I know I said that tonight I'd stay sober, but my life is a contradiction
And hey Grayson, wouldn't you agree
That life without Miller High Life would be a sad, sad thing
Don't worry, I know that I've got problems
But trust me, worrying doesn't solve them
So much for never growing up
I guess its time that I sobered up
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5. |
Mooch
02:36
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Well I've been down before
Kiss the floor boards
In the bathroom of your single room apartment
I hesitate to ask for more
Of your dwindling store
Of energy and attention I've been sucking
You know I'm unstable emotionally
Its been three years you've been here for me
You're giving all but I'm not giving back
When I turned 18 I thought I knew things
It turns out I don't know how to just be
I know I don't like where I'm at
And I don't want to mooch
Don't want to mooch
Don't want to mooch off of you
And its unhealthy for you, can't you see
To stick around ignoring the flaws in me
I'm not helping you can't stand underneath
The weight of an emotional black hole
I get that you think my self pity is a call for help
But maybe I just need to be left alone
Until I can figure a way to stand up by myself
Without stepping all over peoples throats
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6. |
Careless
03:00
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I don't blame you for falling
I blame me for not catching you
I was careless, oh so careless
I know you said that you would wait for me
How many excuses does it take for me to see
That I'm so careless
I'm so careless
And i know you probably hate me now
I never meant to lead you on
I suppose decision making was
The part where I went wrong
A lack of communication
I should have cleared up my position
But I never lied once
And when the consequences come
I hope you know that I'll stand up to them
I suppose I'll bounce from pseudo relationship to relationship
Because I'm too afraid to deal with the possibility of something ending it
Whether its me being a terrible person or my girlfriend at the time getting tired of all of this
I know things have a tendency to end abruptly and that's just way too dangerous
For me and my little world that I've started to rebuild in the ruins of my addictions mingled with innocence
I swear that I'm trying to not hurt people but I'm scared of drowning in my loneliness
So whatever you do, best not jump in, just throw me a few beers and a safety vest
I'll be less depressed next weekend
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7. |
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My friends are sitting in the kitchen
Talking about God
Discussing theology
And the pros and cons of Calvinism
Depravity of man
Gaining all and losing all
Reciting catechisms
That are venerable and ancient
About how grace is a gift
The equivalent of scandalism
God so loved the world that He gave His only son
For a pipe dream, that encompasses eternity
But honestly
I'm wondering, if there's a God and if He loves me
I cant help but think
Of Milly, and if she made it to twenty
My brothers in the bathroom
Puking up his guts
We've been hanging out in his girlfriends apartment
I don't know why they're still together
He's been down on his luck
And deep inside the bottles he finds comfort in
He tells me "Ignorance is bliss"
And that "God is just an opiate"
And "Even if He exists I've had enough of Him
And the way that He frowns upon us, drowning in our sins"
But honestly
I'm wondering, if there's a God and if He loves me
I cant help but think
Of Milly, and if she made it to twenty
I hope that she believes in God, and that she's happy
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